Hope.

It's my worst fear, her death. 

I think I couldn't live without her, she's the most important person in my life, I can't remember since when. I'm dead inside, but I'm still alive just because she's here, next to me. And even in the worst nights, when no one knows I'm screaming, bleeding and suffering, the only thing that keeps me alive is my mental picture of her. 

When I try to keep calm, I close my eyes and I see her. I see her smile, her eyes full of happiness  when she's laughing, she's like a little bit of light across the big darkness. She's a part of me, a big part of me, if she leaves, I will be empty, the darkness will eat me, I will actually die. 

I know something is killing her inside. And I can do anything, I can't keep her safe, and that's killing me too. Like a fish eating his own tail. 

But, after all, she's my only reason, my only hope.